Bad News

It’s strange how destiny works. Just a few days ago I was so enthusiastic about the things that were to come with this year, but now I’m so cheerless. What happened still have me shocked, when I got the news I couldn’t believe it, I thought it was a really harsh joke some jackass was spreading.

The day started being completely boring. My friends and I were supposed to do a barbecue but the plans got canceled because not everyone could attend. I was really pissed at the moment with everyone – I feel like I’m kind of getting a little bit distant from my close friends and I’m trying to do most of the times reunions, barbecues, movie-nights, bowling, etc. so that doesn’t happens – . So the whole day I watched some films and read a little bit – sitting on the coach the whole day.

When it was about 8 o’clock I went to search for my cell phone. Normally I don’t use it much, and people allege that if I have a phone I should carry it all the times because you never know what can happen nor when. Well, as I was telling you I found my phone and found out I had a message from my best friend, Carabaza, which said “Hey there is going to be a Mass for Oneida today at seven in San Pablo Apostol if you want and can come! Okay take care”. I felt a little bit bad that I couldn’t go because he is my best friend and I should be there to support him, but I told myself that it wasn’t such a big deal and in the end everything would be alright. Fifteen minutes passed after that and a friend of mine, called Hector, phoned me and asked me why I didn’t go to the Mass. I just told him that I haven’t read the message until fifteen minutes earlier and so wouldn’t have made it on time, also I was still on pajamas and not in a mood of going out – now that I think of it I guess I could have gone anyway, even if it was over by then I could have been there to support him, he is indeed my best friend and always aids me when needed. Later I would regret not being there.

I received a call at 11 pm from Hector again; he asked me if the rumors were true, if indeed Oneida had passed away. In that moment I went frozen. My first thought was that it was one of this rumors that start after someone giving wrong some information and leading to a completely different thing – like the game of Telephone, the first person say some sentence or phrase that, after passing through all the people playing the game, ends with a distinct phrase. I told Hector he was crazy, that he may have heard wrong and until he has spoken with Carabaza, he shouldn’t say anything about it. We hanged up and I didn’t know what to do nor what to think – Was it true? Did she really didn’t make it? I told myself it was absurd of me thinking that. I just continued with my thoughts about everything being okay, that it was only a rumor, but somehow I knew something was wrong.

It didn’t take long before I got the news. Hector called me for the third time – and as I normally say the third is the one – and he affirmed our earlier worries, she was indeed gone. I felt this chills running through my spine. I didn’t know what to say and probably if I said anything I’m pretty sure I only said nonsense. Hector, who was by that time with another good friend of mine called Fili, told me that they were going to the house of Carabaza and asked me that if I wanted to come too.

That night we stayed with him for a while. I thought it would be just Hector, Carabaza, me and maybe Narro – Also one of my best friends –; but instead there were at least twenty people there. I felt kind of out of place because most of them knew Oneida pretty well and me, I just had met her once. Let me be honest, I did care about Oneida but what I really care about in that moment was how my friend was doing – I can’t imagine how it feels to be in his shoes, how hard, how unbelievable, and how shocking it would be. So when Hector and I arrived I skipped the “hellos” and everything, and went inside searching for him.

When I got to his room he was sitting by the side of his bed. I was trying to come up with something to say to him. I know I have to be careful of what comes out of my mouth in this kind of situations because you may mess things up. A lot of things passed through my head but the only thing that I was sure that wouldn’t mess things up was just give him a hug and tell him that if he needs anything I would be there. I don’t know if that was enough or not but I didn’t knew what is the right thing to say in that situation. I practically spent the rest of the evening trying to find something I could say but in the end I couldn’t. Narro took me home later that night; he told me he would pick me up next morning for the burial. That night I had the strangest dream I have had in a long time – It gives me the chills when I remember about it. I don’t exactly remember the whole dream, but the part that I remember was Oneida telling me that I have to take care of Carabaza. It felt strange since in the dream I knew she already passed away and it was also kind of weird since we weren’t close to each other. I decided either if it was just my conscience or something else I would try to take care of him.

Next day we went to pick up Thime, Mayra and Marce in our way to the burial. To explain the relationship I have with each one of these girls I just mention could take a while so I will do it quickly; Thime is Narro’s girlfriend and a really great friend who I can trust in almost anything, Mayra is a girl I know since Kindergarten but start being a close friend for just about a year ago, and Marce is the girl I have a crush with since I met her about four months ago.

While we were driving to the burial the atmosphere was neutral, we did talk about some stuff like the music and so on to distract ourselves – or at least that was my reason – from the main reason we were gathered. The whole day I went like in standby mode thinking of what would I do if something happened to someone I love. What would I regret saying to them or what I didn’t say? Would I be sad or angry about that, or even both? Things like that have been floating around my head the whole day. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.