Is She the One?

Today was one of those days in which you feel absolutely positive about it; maybe it was because I was going to meet with one of the most important persons that I know, her name is Constanza. To be honest I used to be in love with her. Our history goes back to when I was in 8th grade. Back then I had a crush on her, but I was starting a relationship with someone else so it didn’t work out. After that we didn’t talk much and distance grew a lot between us. It wasn’t until two years later that destiny brought us back together. I still remember that day, it was one night I couldn’t sleep for some reason, and well it’s kind of difficult to find something interesting to do when it is 4:00am, so I went to the chat window to see if there was someone online to chat with. It was then when I realized she was still on my contact list and for some reason she was online too. – “Why don’t you talk to her?” – I said to myself in my head –“It has been long since you both talked to each other.” –. I remember we were arguing in a friendly way about why we didn’t talk to each other since 8th grade and we came to an agreement that it was because back then I told her that I was dating with someone, but that it was the fault of both of us we both didn't stayed as friends. We talked – if I’m correct– until almost the dawn. We agreed that we should meet each other some day.

I think Destiny works in a funny way, since I met Constanza two days after that talk in the theater where my sister, Elvia, was going to dance; and so did one of Constanza’s friends. After that, we got closer to each other again. We went out every time that we could, we talked all the time, I thought of her all the time, and for my bad luck I fell in love with her. It was bad luck because, just as I was telling you, Destiny works in a funny way. I liked her a lot but, just like the first time, there was a problem: I was leaving to Germany for a whole year. There are some days I regret of going to Germany, because of what could have happened between Constanza and me, but then I remember the saying “everything happens for a reason”. I still hope to find the good reason, apart from the great experience in another country.

To be honest, the whole year I tried to pull myself together and think before doing something stupid, so that when I got home, we could be together. For my bad luck she fell in love while I was gone. I don’t blame her; I know you don’t get to choose who you feel something for. Sadly I still felt something for her and I couldn't do anything about it.

Anyways, apart from all the love stuff, she told me she is going to go study to another city probably by the end of May, and I would lie if I tell you I’m not sad about that but there is little I can do. Also I know that that’s what she chose for her future and if that makes her happy, I’ll try to look cheerful –even though my heart say that I should try to convince her of staying here, because of the way I still feel about her.

And that brings us to today, where we went to have some coffee at this place called “Mundo Aparte”. We talked about lot of stuff but mostly about how we’ve been doing. I decided to ask her about his ex-boyfriend because I was curious about what had happened between them. I told Constanza once, that she shouldn’t tell me anything about her boyfriend or Dates she had, because of how I felt, so she never said anything – but now I really wanted to know, even though it may had hurt.

She told me EVERYTHING about it; what happened when I left, how she felt about him, the way she treated her, good and bad things about the relationship, etc.. There were some parts where I wanted to tell her to stop because it was hurting, but I decided to hear it until the end. It was until she was finished that I realized that she really liked the guy, I might even say that she loved him. That talk we had made me feel bad for being so selfish since I came back. I wanted to be with her so bad that I never stopped to think about the way she felt. That was when I realized that okay, we had something, but it was now over and she’d moved on. And that I also should move on, I guess. In my way of thinking, I’m not sure if love is like in movies or in TV, that someday you will find that right person for you and realize that it’s meant to be. But I hope, down deep, it will that way. That one day I'll find the perfect girl for me. But, until then, I have to continue with my life.