Now what?

A long time has gone by since the last time I decided to type down what was going on in my life. A lot changed since I decided to stop going after this girl. A lot of women have gone in and out from my life since then, I even believed that one of them was "the one", but I was awfully wrong once again -I guess this is my curse, falling in love just too quickly. It took me almost two years of dating this girl to realize how destructive our relationship turned out to be. I tried to be her super hero and save her from everything but came out being just the villain in our story, the Jenkins and Mr. Hyde and she was the only one that got to see the monster. We both hit rock bottom, but i guess that was what we needed to finally look up and search for the light once more. For such a loving start and a more than fairy tale story it ended up really messy and hurting. 

It took me longer to realize that it wasn't meant to be because, even after we broke up, I fought to keep alive the long extinguished fire only to find myself digging deeper into the abyss. After the blowing point in which I found myself completely broken down to pieces was when I realized how lost I was. Not only in love but in every single aspect in my life. What was I doing? Who am i? This questions echoed in my head like little voices that I just wanted gone.